Friday, May 16, 2008

Motivation for Mums 2

Todays advice is: "Give time to your children each day. The time you give makes the words you speak of more value to them."

It has always been said in parenting books that we should set aside time for each child. One-to-one time. Just one parent with one child. To talk, to share, to enjoy each other's company. To do anything the two of you want. Could be everyday (preferred!) or even once a week. To make that child feel special.

Previously when my son was in a different school from his sister, my one-to-one time with him was every morning when I sent him to school and every afternoon when I fetched him home. In the mornings, on the way to school, we would start off our journey by saying a morning prayer. Then we would talk about the days schedule, and then followed by anything else he wanted to talk about. On the journey home, we would talk about school that day. Once a week, hubby and I would "change shifts" and I would have that time with my daughter. As for little D, she of course gets most of this "mommy time" coz when the other 2 are at school or busy with their activities, she has me all to herself.

Over the weekends and in the afternoons, it is quite impossible to have one-to-one time with anyone coz all three are home, and all 3 would be clamouring for my attention, at the same time! And they would be most upset if I were to go off with just one of them!

However, now that they are both in the same school, I really miss the prayer time and that one-to-one time with each, never mind that my daughter only had that time once a week, it is better than not having it at all! Everyday after school, both would be fighting to tell me what happened in school, and both want to speak first!! Also, there is no more "privacy" as they cant tell it to me without the other hearing.

Sometimes I wonder if my son's acting up could be his way of telling us he is craving for attention coz he misses this one-to-one time. However, in this crazy world that I live in, scheduling one-to-one time with each child daily is really not possible. Not with 3 kids, and their very busy schedules!! Especially with the long school days, homework, tuition, CCA.

But, I try. Once in a while, when the opportunity arises, that special someone would get time with me - for an ice cream, or a drink at Macs, some shopping, etc. Not as regularly as I would like it to be, but better than not at all.

And, I better try to do more of it, coz before I know it, they may not want to do it with me (their time with their friends may be more important to them by then!). And I may not be able to share the values and morals that I so want them to learn and value!


bp said...

Thanks for highlighting the importance of this special time with each kid, as you said it's not easy to fit into crazy schedules, but we try, yah? See how much your kids love it, and love you SAHM... isn't it super nice to know they are all clamouring for your attention to share with you how their day went?!=)

I love how you "steal" time using your drive to and fro with the kids to pack in the most into the 1-in-1. I also say a prayer with my boys driving to school, even if it's a really simple one for God to watch over them!

TripleJin said...

Sigh...I so know abt this one-on-one time.... but it's hard when u have THREE!!!!! u say, just try...better than not trying!


Bkworm said...

Do value the time u can spend with them now because as they grow, they will want their own space.....I remember it didn't seem too long ago when my girl was so attached to me but in the blink of an eye, she seemed more adult and molly coddling from mummy is no longer something she wants but our relationship has moved to a different level.

And yes, I found your 'secret diary' *wink*

JO-N said...

I find it difficult too when I have three children but what you say is true. We should try our very best to have a one-to-one time with each child.

bp said...

I've just included a link here from my latest post, if it's OK with you.

Been busy with kids and house stuff... will catch up with you soon! You have a good rest of the week now!

Stardust said...


I'm ' sent ' by bp, though I've read your post earlier. =P

I must say that what you're sharing is actually very relevant and helpful, just that, heheh, I'm not a mom yet so the discussions do leave me bewildered sometimes. =P However, I know inside that I'll have to confront similar problems in future, and your sharing serves as good pointers to me.

So, when I leave ' quiet ', please understand that something has got into me, but they'll ' output ' only much later, perhaps. ;P

Oh, you may like to delete this gibberish if you wish. =D Have a great Thurs!