Monday, June 9, 2008

Men Are Just Happier People

Got this from a friend via email. Thought I should share it, and I took the liberty to add my two cents worth (in parenthesis) as well!! Have a good week ahead!


Men Are Just Happier People


NICKNAMES
If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah .
If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.

EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in £20, even though it's only for £32.50.
None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. (The change they will probably spend on beer.)
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY
A man will pay £2 for a £1 item he needs.
A woman will pay £1 for a £2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.(hey! we are just saving money!)

BATHROOMS
A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from M&S.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337.
A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

CATS
Women love cats.
Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.(Hey! Men change too! Where did all the hair on top of the head go to? - on the floor, the sofa, keyboard - that we have to sweep up! and what happened to the 6 pack? it turned into the beer belly!!)

DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the bins, answer the phone, read a book, and get the post.(They want us to look good all the time, right??)
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night. (Why? Because we have to wake up for night feeds. Also, what do you expect - the snoring kept us up all night!!).

OFFSPRING
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children.
She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes.
There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!! (Yeah!!)

3 comments:

Stardust said...

Poohoohoohoo... how very true. Funny post this is, I've enjoyed reading. Happy week ahead too!

bp said...

Bwahahaha! Good one! Thanks for the laugh!

Caramel Corn said...

this is such a funny post. thanks for sharing!