Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Quality vs Quantity Time

Many parents swear that they spend quality time with their kids. And for working parents this is usually only a short period of time between work and meals and any other things that occupy their time, which they can squueze into their day.

I dont know if its me or my kids, but quality time doesnt work. For us, or me rather, I think I need QUANTITY time. Lots and lots of it, and from this quantity time, hopefully some of it works out to be of great Quality.

Recently, when I engage my children, especially the teen and soon-to-be teen, I may not get a response from them. You want to spend time with them or do things with them, and they dont respond. They rather do things by themselves. They dont want to talk or discuss things either. The moody teenage years with raging hormones? Most likely.

But when they want to talk, they talk non-stop! And when in the mood, they want to do so many things!!

So how can limited quality time work? Impossible, in my opinion, coz we need to catch them in the right frame of mind and mood. We need quantity time so that when they are in the talk and do mode, we are available to do it with them, and hence getting some quality out of it.


Wang Tai Tai - 王太太 said...

I think this is so beautifully expressed. Many times, I have read interviews where busy working mums with high flying careers proudly said that they give quality time to their children and that is enough. But what you shared is so true. We must try to meet our children's (especially in their teen years) emotional needs and not fit them in according to our schedule.

stay-at-home mum said...

Thanks Wang Tai Tai. I wasnt sure if I managed to get what I wanted to say across. My pet peeve is tho I am a stay at home mum I cant seem to sometimes find the time to spend quality time with my kids, and I am with them during many of their non-school hours! And sometimes when they are ready to interact, this old mum is just too tired!

NessaKnits said...

I'm a stay at home mum too, and I think with all children you just have to listen and ask questions ... and sometimes you find out what is bothering them now, when it happened and sometimes you find out a month after it happened!

bp said...

You've said it so well, I'm going nod, nod thruout, reading this, I feel the same way, and my tween and even his younger brother are like this! And exactly what you said that we have to catch them in the right mood, was just saying that to you over you-know-where, Hi 5! ;p

Means also if their inspiration strikes to want to talk to us and yes, I love it when they want to yak, yak, yak -- so much more than the one-word answers, haha, or "silent"/leave-me-alone treatment, I'd better put those dishes down or whatever it is that can wait, ya. Coz such times are indeed so precious!

Enjoy yours also! :)