Monday, November 2, 2009

Time to think

Yesterday Hubby and I left all 3 kids home alone to catch a movie. Previously, we would never dream of doing such a thing. But now that they are older and know how to co-operate, and that the exams are over for the older two, we took the plunge, and went without them. Of course, we were only a phone-call away!

We caught the movie "My Sister's keeper" - a story about how a couple had another child just for the purpose of saving the life of a sick child. I thought it would be a "sob-fest" and went armed with loads of tissues. But it didnt really turn out that way. Yes, it did tug at my heart-strings, and a few tears did roll - but the movie was more of one that got me thinking.

Am I controlling my kids too much? Am I deciding for them too often as to what is good for them? Am I considering their wants, needs and desires before making decisions for them? Granted, there are some which they are too young to make, but do I take their wants into considerations before making the decisions? How do children feel when they have a "sick" sibling? Do we cater to the wants of the "Sick" at the expense of the needs of the others? Do we do it just so that we dont feel guilty?

Many of these questions are tough to answer.

Now after watching the movie, I think I will be doing much more thinking before making decisions for the children. A real thinking, deep-thought provoking movie!!


iml said...

It's never easy letting go. Will they make the right decision? Will we regret not stepping in? That is why life is always a challenge/surprise. Not knowing how the left right centre decision will ultimately lead to.

EastCoastLife said...

So glad to see you back to blogging. I didn't forget you. :)

I was a control freak when it came to my only son but I learn to let go when he was 8. He was given the freedom to choose the path he wants to take for his future. Not what I want as a parent but I respect his decision.

He has turned out to be a confident, happy and responsible teenager.

EastCoastLife said...

Regarding the Katong CC Gourmet Club, you can register with Katong CC. It costs S$30 for registration and the first dinner is free.

My hubby is in charge of this club. :)

Yan said...

This is borrowed wisdom, but I have been reminded over and over these years. Perhaps, sharing with you since you are on the subject.

It was some 20 years ago this Taiwanese couple who came to my town for a talk about "Happy Family". They advised parents not to make all the decisions for their child, big or small. It would be a horror that one day the child made a big decision on his own alone telling off the parents, "Mummy, daddy, you have been making decisions for me all my life, let me decide this one for myself." And the decision turns out to be disastrous.

I must say this wisdom has been guiding me in my parenting role till today.

Shared wisdom - that's another beauty of blogging and friendship!

BTW, SAHM, what was that you ordered last time when we were dining at Little Italy, those crispy little things in a basket! Chris would be here soon, I am looking forward to dining with the boy there and order that!

JoMel said...

I've wanted to catch this movie, and I'm just waiting for the Dvd to be released.

Like you said, those are tough questions. It actually is a catch-22 at times. Like when you allow them to make their own decisions, but cannot concur with their decisions. What do you do? Go back on your word? Parenting is tricky eh? :)

stay-at-home mum said...

hi iml, Jomel
Yes, its so tough. Esp when we dont know whether we should step in or not when they have made the "wrong" decision".

Hi ecl
Thanks for popping by! I must learn to let go.

Hi Yan

Thanks for the "borrowed wisdom"
I think I ordered the calamari rings.Enjoy yourself with Chris!