Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Your favourite Child

Do you have a favourite?

Most parents will say "no".

We try not to have favourites. We try to be fair to all and treat each the same.

That's what I say and try to do too.

But, to be honest: we do love each differently.

My oldest is special to me because she was my first born. She's what you would call a "good girl". Doesnt give me problems. Does her work when she has to, diligent, level headed.

My second, being the only boy is also special in his own way. He is independent, street smart, and oh! so kind when it comes to younger children. He takes very good care of them especially his younger sister.

My youngest is my most precious. Being the youngest, I know she will be my last baby, so she has a special place in my heart. Coupled with her medical problems, we tend to be more careful with her. Also, with her being the youngest, she tends to get picked on by the other two. With the big difference in age, she always on the losing end, be it in games, arguments, etc. I know how she feels coz I went thru all that as a kid, being the youngest in the family. So I tend to help her out a little more. Of course, because of this, the other 2 will complain that I love her more than I do them. WE know that is not true. I love them all. The same.

Like all kids, they always complain that the others are treated "more special" compared to them.

But that's only what they perceive.

We give the necessary attention to the one who needs it most at that particular time. Like when one has a problem or a need, we tend to give it the attention it needs at that time. Of course, to the "problemless" child, we are ignoring them.

So does this create the "problem child" effect? - ie where they act up just to get our attention?

Probably does. But with limited resources such as time, and money, I guess it cant be helped.

I know a friend who regularly has private dates with each child separately just to give them that one-to-one time. Wonderful isnt it??

Unfortunately, that doesnt seem possible for me with 3 kids and a super tight schedule. In fact, I hardly even have time for myself. And that creates the "problem parent" in me. I get grumpy. I feel unloved. I get impatient. I need my ME TIME!!

So do you have a favourite child? I do.

Mine is probably ...






... ME!! Have a great day!!


Charmaine said...

I think as parents we definitely do but we alwys reassure our kids we love them equally. Due to the large age gap, my relationship with each girl is different. But secretly, my fav is my youngest, becos it took years to have her until we nearly gave up. And when I was pregnant, we nearly lost her.

bp said...

:) I love your sharing and stories from your heart always, and can relate to what you say! I haven't stopped reading my dear, catching your posts from my phone whenever I can, and finally I'm here to drop you a few lines from the laptop that's more friendly for leaving comments.

I hope our kids will feel our love for them and we can somehow squeeze in that extra time and attention... sometimes when we least expect it, like dragging a different child with me to go grocery shopping the other day when hubs could watch the other two for a bit.

Hope you can steal restful moments for yourself also, I know what you mean.

Take care, hugs for the amazing mama and friend you are -- putting your kids first and being there for us friends! Bless you, I thank God for the precious friend I have in you!