Sunday, November 4, 2012
Time to draw the line
We have always taught our kids to share, and to help others.
It has been said that its better to give than to receive, and yes, I definitely agree with that.
But when one is taken advantage of, then it's time to draw the line, and put a stop to it.
Anyway, that's what I think.
This is how the story goes:
School was having a mini-carnival.
Gave the little one money to spend: $10
She spent $4 buying nachos to share with her classmates.
One friend (T) wasnt given any money by her mum.
Little one gave her $2, coz T wanted to buy candy floss.
Ate it all up by herself, and went back to little one for more money, coz she (T) wanted more candy floss. Little one gave her another $2. Same thing happened. Went back again to little one for more money. And D gave her AGAIN!!
I dont have a problem with her giving the first $2. But to keep giving?
I tried to explain to the little one that it was fine initially, but not when she kept coming back. She had to learn to tell her "NO".
Lil one had planned to go to the henna booth to get her hand henna'd. I had also suggested to her before school that day to get one of those pretty balloon flowers which she could wear on her wrist, and she was so excited about it.
But when she came out of school that day with nothing in her hands except for a cup of pop-corn I was a bit surprised.
Upon questioning, I found out what had transpired.
And when I found out that the pop-corn was given to her by another friend, I was upset. Firstly, I dont like her taking things from others. I have always told her: It's ok to share. Eat what is offered, BUT dont take any home. Apparently this girl (R) felt sorry for D (coz D didnt get to buy anything, coz her money was spent by someone else) and hence gave her what was left of her pop-corn!! Bless R!!
I have told her that parents do not give for a reason. These are kids from rich and well-to-do families. If the parent refuses to give, there must be a reason for it: either the child is not supposed to have whatever (for medical or other reasons) or the child is being punished to be denied a treat.
I pointed out to her: what would you do if T's mum didnt want her to buy candy floss because she had an allergic reaction to it. And you gave her the money to buy it and she had a bad reaction as a result?
She understood but I think she didnt really understand, coz at the end of the day she told me: Mum, I actually didnt give her money. I only gave her coupons!! @.@
So at the end of all this, my question is:
Am I teaching my child the wrong thing? (To be generous but not TOO generous?)
Should there be a limit to generosity?
On a lighter note:
A pastor explained to his congregation that the church was in need of some extra money, so he asked them to consider being more than generous. He offered that whoever gave the most would be able to pick three hymns. After the offering plates were passed about the church, the pastor glanced down and noticed that someone had graciously offered a $100 bill. He was so excited that he immediately shared his joy with his congregation and said he'd like to personally thank the person who placed the money in the plate. A very quiet, elderly, saintly lady in the back of the church shyly raised her hand. The pastor asked her to come to the front, so she slowly she made her way towards him. The pastor told her how wonderful it was that she gave so much, and in thanks he asked her to pick out three hymns. Her eyes brightened as she looked over the congregation. She pointed to the three most handsome men in the church and said, "I'll take him and him and him."