Last night Harry and his wife were sitting in the living room, talking about life...
In-between, they talked about the idea of living or dying.
He said to her: Darling never let me live in a vegetative state, totally dependent on machines and liquids from a bottle. If you see me in that state I want you to disconnect all the contraptions that are keeping me alive, I'd much rather die'.
His wife got up from the sofa with this real look of admiration towards him.....and proceeded to disconnect the TV, the Cable, the Dish, the DVD, the Computer, the Cell Phone, the iPod, and the Xbox, and then went to the bar and threw away all his whisky, rum, gin, vodka and the beer in the fridge...
He ALMOST DIED!
The 2 morals of this story are:
1. Think carefully about what you wish for...
2. The female brain works on a different wavelength ...
I know it's not yet friday ... but, a midweek week joke will make the weekend seem so much nearer! Have a great week ahead!
Monday, April 26, 2010
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Japanese Turtle
Have you met a Japanese Turtle before?
No? Neither have I,... and I missed the opportunity when I was not selected as a parent volunteer to go with Little D's class for their field trip to the zoo yesterday. :(
She was all excited when she came home from the zoo and was telling me all about the animals that they saw. Then she said: Do you know that we saw a Japanese turtle??
Me: Huh? How did you know it was a Japanese turtle? Did it speak Japanese to you?
Little D: No Mum! Turtles dont talk. Duh! (Yes, she actually used the "Duh" word on me!)
Me: Then how did you know it was Japanese?
Little D: Bryan told me, and I too saw the Japanese words near the turtle!!
(Her friend and partner for the field trip, Bryan is half Japanese)
No? Neither have I,... and I missed the opportunity when I was not selected as a parent volunteer to go with Little D's class for their field trip to the zoo yesterday. :(
She was all excited when she came home from the zoo and was telling me all about the animals that they saw. Then she said: Do you know that we saw a Japanese turtle??
Me: Huh? How did you know it was a Japanese turtle? Did it speak Japanese to you?
Little D: No Mum! Turtles dont talk. Duh! (Yes, she actually used the "Duh" word on me!)
Me: Then how did you know it was Japanese?
Little D: Bryan told me, and I too saw the Japanese words near the turtle!!
(Her friend and partner for the field trip, Bryan is half Japanese)
Friday, April 23, 2010
AIDS warning, especially for those nearing retirement age
To all of you approaching 50 or have REACHED 50 and past, this is especially for you......... ....
SENIOR CITIZENS ARE THE NATION'S LEADING CARRIERS OF AIDS!
HEARING AIDS
BAND AIDS
GARDENING AIDS
WALKING AIDS
MEDICAL AIDS
GOVERNMENT AIDS
MOST OF ALL,
MONETARY AID TO THEIR KIDS!
Not forgetting HIV
(Hair is Vanishing)
and AIDS: Acute income deficiency syndrome.
SENIOR CITIZENS ARE THE NATION'S LEADING CARRIERS OF AIDS!
HEARING AIDS
BAND AIDS
GARDENING AIDS
WALKING AIDS
MEDICAL AIDS
GOVERNMENT AIDS
MOST OF ALL,
MONETARY AID TO THEIR KIDS!
Not forgetting HIV
(Hair is Vanishing)
and AIDS: Acute income deficiency syndrome.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
There's no pleasing me.
Well my main grouse at the moment is having to pay taxes.
Doesnt make sense right?
Paying taxes mean that we have had income, which is a good thing. If not, how to be able to enjoy the life that we live.
Last year, I didnt pay any taxes. Why, becoz I had no taxable income. The business that we ran incurred a loss - I guess that was acceptable given the bad economic climate here at that time with many people losing jobs and companies cutting down on their spending. I was not happy. Coz for all the hard work that hubby put in, there was nothing to show for it.
This time round, business has been pretty brisk. But again I am not happy! Why? Becoz just looking at the tax returns that I have just completed there is going to be so much taxes that I have to pay!!
No profits = Unhappy me.
Profits = Also doesnt please me too much.
But I guess, this time round it's a good problem to have!
Yes, I am difficult to please. But isnt that human nature?
Doesnt make sense right?
Paying taxes mean that we have had income, which is a good thing. If not, how to be able to enjoy the life that we live.
Last year, I didnt pay any taxes. Why, becoz I had no taxable income. The business that we ran incurred a loss - I guess that was acceptable given the bad economic climate here at that time with many people losing jobs and companies cutting down on their spending. I was not happy. Coz for all the hard work that hubby put in, there was nothing to show for it.
This time round, business has been pretty brisk. But again I am not happy! Why? Becoz just looking at the tax returns that I have just completed there is going to be so much taxes that I have to pay!!
No profits = Unhappy me.
Profits = Also doesnt please me too much.
But I guess, this time round it's a good problem to have!
Yes, I am difficult to please. But isnt that human nature?
Friday, April 9, 2010
Water, water everywhere
"Love that water running down your butt" little D said to me one day as I stepped out of the shower. (I tell you I have no peace even when I shower).
I smiled, towel dried myself and started to get dress.
"Now you have covered up the water with your panties!!" she exclaimed.
I thot I hadnt dried myself properly, and said, "Dont worry the water will no longer be there."
Two days later, she was again in the bathroom as I stepped out of the shower. (I tell you she never leaves me alone!!)
"I really love that water," little D said.
"I cant be going around with water on my butt all day long." I said and this time I made sure I dried myself properly. "There! No more water."
"It's still there Mum, and I think it's so cool!" she said. I then realised that she was referring to those cellulite marks on my butt!! "How do you get them? I want them!" she said.
I roll my eyes. "You wouldnt be saying that when you are my age" I told her, and went on to explain to her how those "stretch marks" came about.
So now you know, I have lots of water all about me. ""Shui" like the chinese say represents money and wealth, but I hope that's not the only wealth I have!!
Have a great weekend!!
I smiled, towel dried myself and started to get dress.
"Now you have covered up the water with your panties!!" she exclaimed.
I thot I hadnt dried myself properly, and said, "Dont worry the water will no longer be there."
Two days later, she was again in the bathroom as I stepped out of the shower. (I tell you she never leaves me alone!!)
"I really love that water," little D said.
"I cant be going around with water on my butt all day long." I said and this time I made sure I dried myself properly. "There! No more water."
"It's still there Mum, and I think it's so cool!" she said. I then realised that she was referring to those cellulite marks on my butt!! "How do you get them? I want them!" she said.
I roll my eyes. "You wouldnt be saying that when you are my age" I told her, and went on to explain to her how those "stretch marks" came about.
So now you know, I have lots of water all about me. ""Shui" like the chinese say represents money and wealth, but I hope that's not the only wealth I have!!
Have a great weekend!!
Saturday, April 3, 2010
The cold oven has started work again
My oven had been cold at home for quite awhile, not since the year started, I think. I didnt bake ANY cookies at all during CNY, and it was only recently that I did some baking.
1st was the apple turnovers and the apple strudel (just like the famous ones made by Corica in Perth).
apple turnovers
apple strudel
Taste-wise it came out pretty well, and I now have a friend wanting to order them for an upcoming party. Must say that the thot is giving me the "fear of failure" jitters!!
We were at the supermart a couple of weeks ago, and N requested for some choc chip cookies. Not wanting to buy the commercial ones, I told him I will bake them for him. But my schedule this past couple of weeks had been so busy that I just couldnt find the time to do it!
Yesterday, being the Good Friday holiday here, gave me some much needed break from the usual routine, so I decided to bake him those cookies he wanted. I started off with the choc chip cookies recipe, but along the way I changed my mind
I used the basic choc chip recipe, except that when it was time to add the choc chip, I held out. I then scooped out slim and long spoonfuls of the dough onto the cookie sheet, so that when baked they would be oval in shape. Then my two able assistants took over. S&D decorated them to look like easter eggs. I call them the easter egg cookies.
I hope you like them!
Have a Blessed and Meaningful Easter! God Bless!
1st was the apple turnovers and the apple strudel (just like the famous ones made by Corica in Perth).
apple turnovers
apple strudelTaste-wise it came out pretty well, and I now have a friend wanting to order them for an upcoming party. Must say that the thot is giving me the "fear of failure" jitters!!
We were at the supermart a couple of weeks ago, and N requested for some choc chip cookies. Not wanting to buy the commercial ones, I told him I will bake them for him. But my schedule this past couple of weeks had been so busy that I just couldnt find the time to do it!
Yesterday, being the Good Friday holiday here, gave me some much needed break from the usual routine, so I decided to bake him those cookies he wanted. I started off with the choc chip cookies recipe, but along the way I changed my mind
I used the basic choc chip recipe, except that when it was time to add the choc chip, I held out. I then scooped out slim and long spoonfuls of the dough onto the cookie sheet, so that when baked they would be oval in shape. Then my two able assistants took over. S&D decorated them to look like easter eggs. I call them the easter egg cookies.
I hope you like them!
Have a Blessed and Meaningful Easter! God Bless!
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
I hate chess!
No, not me, but that was what little D said to me last week.
You see, we have introduced her to the game, since her siblings play it. We thought that it would be a good CCA (co-curricular activity) for her to take when she goes to school given her medical condition - a brain game which the docs had said would be what she has to use as most sports would be a no-no for her.
But having "experienced" chess since the age of two, she doesnt seem to appreciate it. She has "sat" thru' full day tournaments, 10 day tournaments, rapids, blitzes as well as four hour games!! At one stage, whenever we went to a chess tournament, she would freak out and demand to leave the place immediately. Now she wants nothing to do with it.
I have tried explaining to her that chess would be the best choice for her when she starts school, and if she plays it well, there would be the possibility of Direct school admission for her when it is time for secondary school.
But being a little on the young side, she doesnt fully understand it, and her reply was: Nah, I dont want to take exams, and I dont want to go to 'BIG' school. I just want to stay home with you!
How? Now I do not know whether to make her continue with chess or not. Yesterday she took more than 30 mins and she only made 4 moves on the chessboard. Hmmmmm... maybe she has the makings of a Kasparov, and she saw something on the chessboard during those 4 moves that I didnt!
You see, we have introduced her to the game, since her siblings play it. We thought that it would be a good CCA (co-curricular activity) for her to take when she goes to school given her medical condition - a brain game which the docs had said would be what she has to use as most sports would be a no-no for her.
But having "experienced" chess since the age of two, she doesnt seem to appreciate it. She has "sat" thru' full day tournaments, 10 day tournaments, rapids, blitzes as well as four hour games!! At one stage, whenever we went to a chess tournament, she would freak out and demand to leave the place immediately. Now she wants nothing to do with it.
I have tried explaining to her that chess would be the best choice for her when she starts school, and if she plays it well, there would be the possibility of Direct school admission for her when it is time for secondary school.
But being a little on the young side, she doesnt fully understand it, and her reply was: Nah, I dont want to take exams, and I dont want to go to 'BIG' school. I just want to stay home with you!
How? Now I do not know whether to make her continue with chess or not. Yesterday she took more than 30 mins and she only made 4 moves on the chessboard. Hmmmmm... maybe she has the makings of a Kasparov, and she saw something on the chessboard during those 4 moves that I didnt!
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