Monday, June 7, 2010

Scrapbook

Was rummaging thru my cupboards, trying to find our old Kyoto photos, in an effort to get the kids excited about our upcoming trip there. Then I stumbled upon the scrapbook that I started 14 years ago.

It was for my daughter S. It chronicled her birth, and it had the front page of the Straits Times of the day she was born, including cards, gift tags, wellwishes, etc from friends, relatives, colleagues and some people whom I dont even remember now. I had kept all these "keepsakes" , including birthday cards,angpow wrappers, etc that she received up to her 2nd birthday, and put them into this scrapbook. I cant quite remember why I abruptly stopped working on it tho. Nevertheless she was thrilled with what I had done for her!

I then noticed my son's envy. I told him that I had the front page of the newspaper of the day he was born somewhere in my drawer together with his "Keepsakes" - just that I hadnt put it into a scrapbook for him yet. This was due to my very busy schedule after he arrived. I then told him that it would be my project for next year when Lil D starts school when I have more time on my hands.

Then I saw 2 big eyes looking at me ... and I wished at that moment that I was an ostrich. I just wanted to dig a BIG hole and bury my head in it. It was lil D looking at me in anticipation. But unfortunately, I hadnt done anything for her ... not even putting aside her keepsakes. But can you blame me? At the time of her birth, I was under tremendous stress ... if you dont recall or was not following my blog then, read here, here, and here.

I really dont know how I will make it up to her, but I must in someway. Poor lil D, always deprived, thru no fault of hers.

PS - I know why I could find the time to do the scrapbook for my oldest - I was working then, and I had time on my hands. I quit my job shortly after I had N, which explains why I never got down to the job tho I put aside things for his book. So I guess, I should get back to work to have time on my hands! Haha!

3 comments:

Stardust said...

Dear,

Cold sweat broke as I read your previous record.. I really admire your courage and dedication. Lil D ain't deprived of anything, surely she'll come to know how much you've gone thru to bring her. As for stuff that can't be made up for, we have everyday from now to make things special. =) May the Lord continue to watch over you all.
And me too, I pray. Tremendously stressed and fearful actually. By His grace I hope things will pull thru.

bp said...

awww, i feel the same way, too, and when u said to me the other day, we hardly have time for all our children, much less ourselves... i knew just what you mean. but we try our best with each one of them, yah.

i can imagine that scrapbook you've done must be really lovely, and oh-so-precious! i look forward with you when you finish putting together something similar for N and D also! and i think your blog posts of their growing up will come in handy, too, piecing together their fun and candid moments, as well as the challenges that you've "grown up" together.

Enjoy your coming trip, SAHM... more wonderful memories for scrapbooks, yay! for me, photobooks are my aim eventually for my children, but at my own time, own target, lah. and hopefully when i get round to them, i can still somehow piece the "older" memories together, i don't really have an elephant's memory tho'.

JoMel said...

I can only say, "you are not alone." :)